I feel like a failure weekly as a mother! I put unnecessary mom guilt on my shoulders when things don’t work out, the way I feel they should. Or when my son gets mad at me or when we argue. There are so many variables as to why mothers (and dads) feel like failures! Because we allow the guilt to creep in and eat at us.
I think it’s normal overall and with the society today, we tend to always accept blame or guilt when given. I will tell you that a few years ago, I had to let go of “mom guilt” and if you are a mom or dad, I highly encourage that you do the same. It’s a senseless emotion that we do not need as a parent!
I have a good son and he has been given a lot more than I probably should have given him. The things he did when he was little that I thought were cute and funny, am I accepting that behavior now that he is 17 years old? YES! I let him talk back to me, I let him raise his voice and talk to me (like I did him) it was cute when he was 4 years old but not now. These are the behaviors that I allowed him to form, but should I feel guilty because I created this? NO! But I should work on showing him the right respectful way to address an adult. That he shouldn’t raise his tone nor talk back to anyone. It’s a work in progress but as a parent I have to be consist and make sure he is doing what I tell him. It’s a backtrack approach but not a guilty one.
I will tell you as one parent to another, just do the best you can. When your child starts school and sports or activities, it’s so busy that I would encourage that you let go of the guilt and focus on you and your family. It’s the busiest time in your life juggling all these items, give yourself a break! It’s hard raising children, working full time (whether at home or in office) and taking care of your family. But ever so rewarding if you can stay positive and keep everything in perspective. It’s not as bad as you think if you just try and keep it in context of what is happening now or in that moment. I always ask myself “in 20 years will this matter?” and if it doesn’t then I deal with the issue differently than I would if it did matter.
We are parents so take away the “mom guilt” own your style and work with what you have and do the best you can. Talk with other parents that have the same way of thinking and help support each other. Take away that guilt and learn from your mistakes. Your human so you will make mistakes daily but learn from them and be a better parent. That is how we grow, we fail, we learn, and we are better.